Want a shiny nickel plate finish?

Stage One

Ammonium Sulphate, 410g
Ammonium Chloride, 90g
Nickel Chloride Hydrate, 490g
Cobalt Chloride Hydrate, 10g.

That should be 1kg of powder. Grind it together with a large pestle and mortar. Don't worry, it's not going to blow your face off. We're not making bombs here. Take all sensible precautions though - you know what chemical shit can be like if you get it in the wrong place.

This is your "Stock Powder". Store it in an airtight container.

Stage Two

Ammonium Sulphate, 34g
Ammonium Chloride, 5g
Nickel Chloride Hydrate, 40g
Cobalt Chloride Hydrate, 5g.

Dissolve this in 0.73 litres of 5N sulphuric acid (careful now, use safety wear) and make up to one litre with distilled water.

This is your "Stock Solution". Store it in a suitable bottle.

Now rest well. The preparation is done. You can move on to Stage Three any time you like.

Stage Three

To make one litre of "Working Solution", add 50ml of "Stock Solution" to 55g of "Stock Powder", dissolve in 660ml of distilled water, then make up to 1 litre with more distilled water.

Stage Four

Connect your piece of metalwork (perhaps copper or brass) to the negative terminal of a power source (croc clips are good for this). This is now your cathode. Connect another piece of electro-conductive material (any metal or carbon but preferably nickel) to the positive terminal of the power source. This is now your anode.

Maximum current should be 15A per square decimetre of the anode and cathode but that's a bit heavy (and a bit dangerous) for home use. You'll get good results for small items just using one of those big fuckoff torch batteries or similarly rated DC power supply.

Complete the circuit by dipping your anode and your cathode into the "Working Solution", making sure they don't touch. Leave for an unspecified while. Could be minutes. Could be hours, depending upon your power source. Swish 'em about a bit every now and then.

Remove, rinse with water then polish with... polish. Metal polish is good. Lo and behold - a wonderful and most durable nickel plating that looks almost like silver.

Whoops - sorry Mr Murdoch. I forgot that this formula was one of your expensive "industry secrets", the knowledge of which I acquired from my Dad just before you sacked him and his work fellows. Hey Ho. I guess we just don't understand the meaning of confidentiality anymore.

Anti-Tardiness Event Console

Coming soon, my newly redesigned "Event Console" - a product designed for people who want their web site events calendar to remain largely independent of mainstream social media tools. Oh, and independent of any tardy, hired web-head who's in charge of your site updates of course. It doesn't matter how tired or static your web site has become, with this nifty little tool your web site will always look like it's up to date! You can even update your web site calendar from your phone whilst lying prone in a gutter after closing time.

Ignore the "Steampunk" console imagery (sample input screen shown here). The output is pure text streamed directly into your web site and formatted according to your own style sheet.


I have two clients working in Beta for several months now, and nothing's broken. Want some?

Universal-ish power supply unit

Hobbyists and home experimenters will know the feeling. You're working on a little project and you know you're going to need power. Often this results in a mad search for a battery box and some cells that still have a bit of life in them, or perhaps you raid your collection of "Wall Warts" (which usually means you can't charge your phone or use your router until playtime's over). Wouldn't it be nice to have a dedicated power supply for these occasions? What a luxury.

Contemplating this problem earlier today, my gaze fell upon a heap (literally a heap) of old computer PSUs gathering dust in the corner of the Secret Laboratory. I always salvage stuff from old PCs - better gathering dust than going to landfill.. Some of the PSUs were of no further use anyway, being of the old "20-pin" format rather than the "24-pin" that modern motherboards require. Some were rated as low as 200W, which doesn't really cut the mustard with modern PCs. For years I had been tripping over the very solution to my problems. It was a classic "DUH" moment...

So, the next Secret Laboratory project is going to be the conversion of one of these old computer PSUs to a useful universal-ish general purpose power supply. If it's good enough for motherboards, it's good enough for the shit I build.

The plan is to source a compact yet safe housing for the PSU, to prevent busy little fingers from poking stuff (accidentally or deliberately) through any dangerous holes. Terminals will be presented for +3.3V, +5V and +12V outputs (either separately else via a voltage selector switch - I haven't decided yet). I may include -12V for those of you who like to muck about with devices that require it. I never did fully understand why op amps need the dual polarity thing...

If you're following this project, the bit you're going to be working with is the 20-pin connector (usually marked P1), seen here to right of centre. You can ignore the other connectors (far left) - they just route the same power to other computer peripherals (hard drives, etc). You can get everything you need from the 20-pin connector alone.

Of great importance! Mark well the following cable colours:

• Orange: +3.3V
• Black: Ground
• Red: +5V
• Grey: Power Good (optional signal)
• Purple: +5V Standby (optional power)
• Yellow: +12V
• Blue: -12V (optional power)
• Green: Power On

There's some redundancy in there, so you'll find several cables of the same colour. Trust the colours but use a meter to check the voltage lines. I haven't given pin numbers because they differ between the 20 and 24-pin standards.

To turn the PSU on, you must ground the Power On pin. I plan to use a simple on-off switch for that.

+5V Standby is always on, even without Power On grounded. I plan to have a little LED across this just to show that the unit is plugged in and ready to go.

Power Good goes high when the PSU is delivering the right voltages to all outputs. Again, I plan to have a little LED across this one. You can't have enough lights on your unit, you just can't. The more lights, the better it looks (and it's a real babe magnet - well, it's always worked for me).

Regrettably, I must inform everyone that electricity can be hazardous and you really mustn't go mucking about with stuff you know not what of. In particular, do not disassemble the PSU itself and, if you do and you see something that looks like a little can of baked beans for a pixie's din-dins, don't touch it else you might end up all dead (even if you're not plugged in). That's my legal disclaimer. Can we see if we can get through this project like grown-ups?

More news soon, as soon as I've found a suitable housing for the PSU...

The Lindsay Technique for tangle-resistant cable storage

I call this the Lindsay Technique because it was musician and rock climber Andy Lindsay who taught me. The technique is derived from rock climbing practice but it works equally well in the world of live music performance.

Happy tangle-free gigging!

Reclaiming your toothpaste

OK, not an invention as such but a super little tip for all of you with TDA (toothpaste depletion anxiety).

Coming next on The Secret Laboratory - a full video disclosure of the Lindsay Technique for non-tangling cables. A must for musicians...

CRAPULITE® - building material of the future

It is with no small measure of pride (and indeed a huge dollop of smugness) that The Secret Laboratory is able to release details of its latest invention, CRAPULITE^®

This open-textured, lightweight yet strong medium is ideal for repairing large gaps in crumbling masonry or rotting timberwork.

CRAPULITE^® is produced from a readily available and sustainable source of recycled material, combined with an all-purpose filler in a secret process known as “shredding and mixing”. The high content of tabloid material renders CRAPULITE^® impervious to bookworm. With a skim of rendering and a lick of paint, even your surveyor won’t know it’s CRAPULITE^®.

The Secret Laboratory is in the process of negotiating exclusive rights with the construction company Bodgitt & Leggit of Purley.

Drop -Tank sidecar

Current shed project is the conversion of a 1945 Hawker Tempest Drop Tank (used for carrying extra fuel) Into a useable sidecar body for my old Panther motorcycle. I have so far welded in a new nose section (as it was dropped on its nose) and made some cutouts for the passenger.

The cutout weakened the body considerably so I welded some 8mm round bar all round the aperture. This required considerable heating, which is when I discovered all the rivets and seams were sealed with lead! Interesting! Next stage is making brackets to fit the body to an old chassis I have 'in stock'